Eternal Rest

Find Peace

In the game of life, no one gets out alive.

Dealing with loss and grief can be a difficult experience. Our upbringing, family, culture and communities often dictate how we view death or losing someone.

Recently I lost my Grandad at a well-lived life of 99 years old. It was a great innings, although as a proud Trini and West Indies cricket fan, I’m sure he wanted that century (100 not out).

Since my grandad lived many miles away in Trinidad and Tobago, we were unable to establish the typically close bond formed by living in the same place and growing together. Nevertheless, there remained a deep and perhaps subconscious relation to the roots of my tree. Perhaps more painful than my loss, was seeing the pain and anguish experienced by my Mum who due to poor health, combined with time constraints was unable to travel back to  Trinidad & Tobago to say her goodbyes with her siblings at the funeral. Whilst observing the ceremony via livestream provided some sense of closure, it was a painful reminder that what we want is not always possible. And so much of life is unpredictable even though we presume it to be in our control.

Music In HD

Back in the 00’s my partner and two close friends ran a club (party) night in Edinburgh called Volume. We’re talking about the Myspace days. We gave out free CDs and party bags (stickers, flyers & sweets)

Around the same time, I released my first Profisee solo record - Zoning (produced by Eprom). I put the record out on my label CloakXDagger. With the help of Rubadub records distribution & support from LuckyMe, I managed to create a little buzz.

This was the first time I met Jack. He and Richard were both really helpful and supportive in the process of starting up an independent label, distribution and putting out vinyl.

Jack was starting to make a name for himself as a DJ at the amazing Glasgow Numbers night and further afield. We were in touch about getting him to play at our Volume night, but for whatever reason it never happened.

Through the years I bumped into Jack at various nights in Glasgow usually at the Sub Club. He was a well-known character, but perhaps because we’d connected in a different context, he was quite lowkey and down to earth whenever we linked.

One of the last times we met in person was actually in London at the club: Fabric.

Some mates and I had been out for a couple of drinks and decided to find a club. We weren’t a big squad or anything, but for some reason when we got to the venue, the doorman didn’t seem to like the cut of our jib. Having worked as a doorman myself, I quickly picked up on their vibe… “We ain’t letting crews of guys in”. I tried to explain that we had come down from Edinburgh (Scotland), but they weren’t having it. At this moment, who steps out of the club for a cigarette - JackMaster. He pops over, and says “What’s going on Prof.”

We chat for a couple of minutes, and he says “Give me five”, 5 minutes later, we’re in the club free of charge.

Jack’s sudden death at 38, is a tragic reminder of the fragility of life. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Nothing is promised, so we have to seize the day and grab each opportunity as it is presented. Like the music we love, play life in high definition.

Logans Run

In the novel, the world of 2116, a person's maximum age is 21 years. When people reach this Lastday they report to a [CTF] Sleepshop in which they are willingly executed via a pleasure-inducing toxic gas. A person's age is revealed by their palm flower crystal embedded in the palm of their right hand that changes colour every seven years; yellow (age 0–6), then blue (age 7–13), then red (age 14–20), then blinks red and black on Lastday, and finally turns black at 21.

In the film, the age of planned death is 30—instead of reporting to a Sleepshop, citizens must take part in a ritual called "Carrousel" in which they are incinerated with the chance of being "renewed".

Logan is a 26-year-old Sandman, sent by the computer to terminate ‘runners’. On his own Lastday, Logan becomes a Runner himself in an attempt to infiltrate an apparent underground railroad for runners seeking Sanctuary. In the end, Logan and Jessica 6 manage to escape to the colony on a rocket.

I guess in some shape or form we’re all trying to escape and find our sanctuary. I incorporated the concept and theme in an EP I released via Phuturelabs:

T.R.O.Y

“They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)” is the poignant track from Pete Rock & CL Smooth’s debut album Mecca and the Soul Brother. The song pays tribute to their friend Troy “Trouble T-Roy” Dixon, who was a backup dancer for Heavy D & The Boyz when he died after an accidental fall following a show in 1990. He was 22 years old.

In a 2011 interview with Complex, Pete Rock talked about the creation of the track:

I found the record [for the sample] when I was digging with Large Professor. I made the base of the beat at my house, and I finished the rest at his house using his SP-950. CL came up with the lyrics even before I came up with the beat. He didn’t have the beat to write to. He already had the song written. The beat made me emotional so I figured it would work. When the lyrics came together with the music, that was the match made in heaven. Thank God it matched the way it did. It was a great outcome.

When we finished the song and mixed it, I had Charlie Brown from Leaders Of The New School in the session, and when we listened back to the record we just started crying. When I felt like that, I was like, ‘This is it.’ Deep in my heart I felt like this was gonna be something big.

A good friend of mine lost his Dad recently, and we spoke at length about the process. I thought back to my own father’s passing, and how it provided me with a greater sense of purpose and urgency. It also made me think about what’s important and letting go of things that are in the past.

Try and stay in the present, accept what can’t be changed, have the courage to live life to the full.

In the therapy room, I’m faced with loss and grief. But to many people (except perhaps the many nurses I’ve worked with), death is a complete mystery, something that can arrive unexpectedly and often unwanted.

Yet death and life are intrinsically linked. The reason we miss things is because at one point we had something.

The Tao of Pooh is a book filled with many gems, Pooh eloquently points out,

Death is a natural part of life.

He who understands the music of heaven lives in accordance with nature in his life and takes part in the process of change of things in his death.

- Zhuangzi

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