Image: Sade Adu
Authenticity is a theme that is often explored during my work as a counsellor. When I communicate with my clients, body language and facial expressions can often convey conflicting messages, contradicting the words spoken during our conversations. This can sometimes indicate a ‘mask’ being worn by the client or in counselling terms, incongruence.
Dave Mearns, author and former Professor of Counselling at the University of Strathclyde describes incongruence as “lace curtains and safety screens” that act as a barrier for a person to disguise themselves. However, behind the veil, the true self still exists. It’s part of my role as a counsellor, to help my clients to see and (if they choose) remove their masks. Being real helps foster trust and honesty, but if I’m not consistent, the client will sense this, and may then choose to hide their true feelings even further. Openness, combined with self-acceptance, serves to eliminate any mystery that may exist between a client and a counsellor. When I’m authentic, it can lead to transparent relationships where the individual feels valued and respected, realigning negative attitudes with positive self-worth.
Although Carl Rogers’ perspective on authenticity evolved during his research, he believed that it’s essential to provide genuine understanding so that others can explore their reality.
It’s important to be genuine when working with clients in the person-centred approach to counselling. I believe that by offering congruence along with the five other core conditions, individuals can be supported in making therapeutic changes within their lives. During my supervision, I was given a helpful analogy that the person-centred theory acts as a ‘cushion’. To better understand a person, grasping the concepts of personality development and fundamental theories such as the actualizing tendency is beneficial. However useful the tools of diagnosis and formulation can be, it’s the core conditions, attitudes and especially listening that are truly essential. Rogers once said,
“It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried.” From this, I understand that it’s important to avoid taking the stance of an all-knowing expert.”
According to person-centred theory, individuals must trust their own experiences to become fully functional. As a counsellor, my goal is to help my clients persist in discovering their path.
True Reflections
"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
When I let go of what I have I receive what I need."
– Lao Tzu
Lao Tzu is a major figure in Chinese philosophy and is recognised as the founding father of Taoism. This ancient tradition emphasises harmony and finding your way. My journey to becoming a counsellor was been filled with many challenges and fundamentally a quest to develop myself. It has required me to reflect on the person I was, as well as the person and psychotherapist I would like to be. The person-centred approach resonates with many of my core beliefs, sharing parallels to many faiths whilst also embracing an attitude not tied to any particular dogma. The non-directive ‘action through non-action’ intrigued me – Person-centred counselling’s humanistic approach looks at the ways that individuals perceive themselves rather than the counsellor ‘figuring out’ the person’s unconscious thoughts. I firmly believe that each person possesses their own answers to the problems and issues, which afflict them. In the words of Galileo,
“You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself”.
Reflect on what’s at the centre of your universe.