Last year, I was promoted to my purple belt in BJJ under Rick Young. Progression through the BJJ ranks is often longer and harder than other martial arts, requiring consistency and perseverance. As with respect, it is earned not given.
Jimi Hendrix said ‘Purple Haze’ was inspired by a dream where he could walk underwater. My purple belt was earned from swimming with sharks at the academy. Anyone who trains BJJ for long enough recognizes that it’s full of peaks and troughs. “Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail” (and all that). But sometimes the hardest battle is indeed in your head - just turning up and getting on the mats after a long day’s work, accepting that you got caught in a submission because of the error made three steps earlier. There was a moment of realization after my promotion when one of my training partners commented “You are one of the sharks”. Chris Haueter 6th-degree black belt (a pioneer of the sport) said, “It’s not who’s good, it’s who’s left.”
You just can’t quit. So that process of challenging myself and sharpening my tools has led me back to pressure testing and competition.
Training Brazilian jujitsu keeps me honest. The truth is on the mat, as in many aspects of life, what we see is not always the truth. We can be seduced by the illusions of social media and hyperreality. We tell ourselves all sorts of stories and narratives, but often they are to escape our fears and vulnerabilities. I recently signed up for a local competition to have a specific goal and focus. Giving myself 6 weeks of preparation, I stepped up my training and began changing my eating patterns. My commitment and dedication began to pay off, as I saw improvement in my Jiu-Jitsu, lost weight and improved overall fitness. A week before my comp, I received the disappointing news that I couldn’t be matched with an opponent. I asked to be moved into a different age/weight category but to no avail. For the rest of the week, I felt frustrated that all my work and prep had been for nothing. After the initial feeling subsided, a new perspective arose. The new process provided me with so much more than a couple of matches, victory or loss. I was able to be accountable to myself.
The process I’m embracing requires walking toward the flame. That flame is vulnerability, ego, pain, and acceptance. That flame is whatever you’re trying to avoid.
Don’t confuse the process with the goal
The goal had been to compete (and win) the match. The process was training consistently, eating healthy, developing my game, and becoming a complete jiu-jitsu/martial artist. The outcome whilst still important to me, is not the sole reason I have been training hard and staying dedicated. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve already signed up for my next competition, and I still overanalyze the mistakes I make on the drive home from training. However, now I’m beginning to notice greater shifts in my attitude and awareness of my progress.
It’s about asking the why questions.
Why do I train? Why do I want to compete? Why do place so much significance on the outcomes?
When I take (7) breaths and reflect on my whys, the process and goals become clearer.
I train cause it gives me peace of mind, it allows me to unplug and be completely present. I enjoy the physical connection and the social camaraderie that exist within BJJ. Many other sporting activities provide a similar experience but it’s something I’ve found (particularly) through training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Maybe it’s the tactile nature and vulnerability which creates physical and emotional connectivity.
Why choose to compete? It’s the thrill of victory and agony of defeat. But not just for medals or to stand on the podium. It’s stepping into the unknown, facing a challenge head-on. Competition can take the form of different meanings for each individual. It may be the competition between the couch and the mat. For myself, sometimes it’s the competition between my responsibilities, family, work, and day-to-day life.
At my club, our coach never pressures people into competing. But he encourages everyone to compete…with themselves.
‘Oss Juice’
The significance of any outcome is strongly linked to our identity. It says something about who we are, what we represent and what we want to become. In the 90’s movie Juice (starring Tupac), Juice = Respect. The film’s strap line is “How far will you go to get it?”
On the mats, are you willing to sweat, be crushed, get ‘tapped out’ over and over again? Only then do you get the ‘Oss Juice’.
The term ‘Oss Juice’ (which I think I need to copyright and make into a rehydration acai drink lol), has various meanings to me. In addition to respect and acknowledgement, it’s the energy and replenishment you feel after a hard session. When the training is done, and you are lying on your back inhaling the oxygen-rich air, your lungs expand, your body relaxes, and the ‘Oss Juice’ begins to circulate.
Take (VII) Breaths.