“A relief valve or pressure relief valve is a type of safety valve used to control or limit the pressure in a system; pressure might otherwise build up and create a process upset, instrument or equipment failure, or fire.”
Life can be filled with various forms of pressure, whether family, friends, work or society. How we manage that pressure can impact our relationships, health, emotions and many other aspects of our wellbeing.
Pressure
Where does this pressure come from? I’ve reflected that much of my own comes from my sense of worth and value. I get tension from my thoughts, how I feel, and the things I do. I’ve been learning to accept that I should revisit my rules for living. A rule for living is the behavioural adjustment that a person (usually formed in childhood) makes to cope with negative messages that they have internalised about themselves as a result of experiences in the family, friends or environment. The pressure and stress I experience are often self-inflicted. Much of the negativity circulating in my mind arises from the constructs I’ve created. Through awareness and recognising the signs and symptoms, I can address the issues and gain better self-management of my thoughts and emotions. The reality (and likelihood) is that pressure will return in one form or another, so I must know what I can change, accept and let go of.
Popularised by Alcoholics Anonymous, the Serenity Prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr captures many truths whether religious, battling addiction or neither.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Letting out the fizz
If the body is a vessel, then regularly letting out the fizz is essential. It’s happened to us all — we’ve bought a bottle of fizzy drink or water, it’s been in our bag bouncing around. We’re in a rush, or we’re just so thirsty that we don’t pay attention. Twist off the lid…then boom! The liquid is everywhere. In my case, I’ll usually have a fresh white tee on, or something smart. Plus it’s probably fizzy juice not water, so it’s a mess, sticky, and try as I might to put the lid back on it’s already too late. ‘Fizz’ is our emotions. For the most part, we might have them contained, but sometimes our emotions get agitated and they move in all different directions. If we aren’t aware, things can often start to bubble or sometimes erupt.
For myself, reflection and self-awareness are the keys to avoiding explosions. Regularly I try and let out a bit of the fizz. I utilize my relief valve as part of my self-care and maintenance. For me, that means training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ), listening to and creating music, sharing my worries with close friends & family, and at my work getting supervision. The fizz is unavoidable, it’s the build-up of pressure, it’s growth. I accept that it is inevitable, so I try to ensure I let out my emotions regularly. It helps me to function and allows me to feel free, it lets me breathe.
Like most things, there are often many sides to a story. So when I’m feeling stressed, I try to remind myself that experiencing pressure is an opportunity to show my true potential.
Pressure bursts pipes or makes diamonds
Pressure makes diamonds, but diamonds must be cut before they shine. We must learn to shape our future. How we navigate adversity or trauma, determines the radiance of our jewels. Music is an important outlet for me, so I use it regularly to soothe, create and reflect. I’ll be exploring this more in future posts. But I’ll leave this gem here.
Respiration
So much on my mind that I can’t recline
Blastin' holes in the night till she bled sunshine
Breathe in, inhale vapours from bright stars that shine
Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline
Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call
I can’t take it y'all, I can feel the city breathin'
Chest heavin', against the flesh of the evening
Sigh before we die like the last train leaving
Take A Breath (or Seven) //